Jones Was In Fact A Gypsy Spy

16 Dec

Rumours had been rife for some time that Cardiff City’s departing manager, Dave “Davey” Jones, had closer ties than many would have expected to their nearest, and bitter rivals Swansea. The West Walian club, also known as the Jacks, and dubbed The Gypsies due to their preference to driving to games in caravans rather than the coaches and trains favoured by the wealthier fans of other clubs, yesterday secured promotion to football’s top tier, The Premiership. But Welsh Icons can exclusively reveal that this was largely due to information fed to Swansea by Jones, along with him frequently cocking things up for Cardiff on a grand scale in order to ensure that Swansea’s promotion hopes were made the more easy.

Many Cardiff fans – also known as The Bluebirds – had suspected that “something was up” after conceding 12 goals in their last four games two seasons previously to ensure that they missed out on the Championship play-offs that year by one goal. This was despite being previously top of the form table. Six of those goals were conceded in one single game to Preston, and it was Preston who took the Bluebirds place in the play-offs after all. To compound Cardiff fans’ misery, Dave Jones oversaw a 3-0 defeat to struggling Ipswich in the last game at their previous ground, Ninian Park (much loved by fans) whereupon predominantly white balloons – the colour of their rival team – were launched into the air above the ground, and the Cardiff team were made to run round the ground in white shirts and shorts. This was also the year that Swansea were promoted into the Championship, so it is possible Jones was working for the Jacks even as far back as 2009.

A source close to the Swansea club, and fan of the team, who will not be named, but who has supplied [Welsh Icons] with some useful evidence stated, “I had long suspected the link between Jones and the Jacks. So yesterday, during Swansea’s game against Reading, I looked into my crystal ball and through the mist, a vision of Dave Jones came into view. I knew it was him by his folded arms and grim expression. I was listening to the game on my wind-up clockwork radio at the same time, and when Swansea won the match I could see Dave Jones shouting, “That’s my boys!” It was when he actually then smiled – something he had never done in his six years at Cardiff – that I was convinced that after all this time, he had in fact been a Jack spy.”

Some Cardiff fans loyal to the Scouse manager – who enjoyed a £90,000 a week salary during his reign at Cardiff (with undisclosed bonuses from his other employers, the Swansea team) – and is reported to be receiving in the region of £800,000 to have his contract terminated, no doubt will be disbelieving of the new revelations. Disc Jockey for popular radio station, The Waiting Game, who had previously been considered to have little or no interest in the beautiful game has been heard to say, “I cannot understand how this man has been sacked. Yes we’ve waited 6 years for him to get Cardiff promoted, but I’d have been prepared to wait 60 years, as long as it was under his reign. The fact that I have never been to watch the team play, and probably never will, has no bearing on the validity of my opinion.” The source mentioned above has been asked to look into whether this DJ may also have Gypsy links.

This article first appeared on the Welsh Icons site on 31/05/11 under the pseudonym, Eddie Cabot.