The Coathanger Shortage

28 Aug

Nobody really knew why

But there was a coathanger shortage –

Maybe there was a strike somewhere or something.


People started wishing they’d said, “Yes”

When asked, “Would you like the hanger?”

When buying a shirt. They actually knew

At the time that they needed the hanger –

But it seemed like a silly thing to admit

That owning the coathanger was almost

As important as owning the shirt –

The thing they were paying for.

“Yes, I’d like the hanger, in fact –

I need the hanger – I’m always short of

Coathangers.” Now, they really needed them.


Coathangers had never been

The sort of items people bought as separate items –

Now people couldn’t get enough of them,

People had always known where you could get them –

Apparently, they just give them away in charity shops,

But still, till now, you wouldn’t just go to a shop

And say, “Can I have some coathangers please?”

You knew a mate who was going to buy

Charity Xmas cards, so you asked them,

“Could you get us some coat hangers while you’re

there?”, but of course, they forgot.


You’d seen some nice new ones in Ikea –

Not exactly expensive, but come on, would

You have paid for coathangers?


Now though, it had got to the stage

Where you were secretly carrying a bag

Of them out from your parents’ house

Which you’d found in the loft while

Looking for something else, and your

Mum’s stopping you – “Can I just have

A couple of those?” You offer 4,

And she says, “I only need a couple,

Well, ok, I’ll have 3”.

That’s how desperate people have become

For coathangers these days.

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