The Square Festival, Borth, 24-26 July 2009

The weather was good, as forecast – I even felt the need to apply suncream at one point. Sales were slow, but steady. If I’d had a pound for everyone who asked if the magazine was a programme for the festival, I could have retired to a small mid-Wales cottage, and had enough loose change to buy a herd of sheep. It was perhaps just as I was thinking this that some loose sheep charged past the stall. They ended up by the gate, but happened to be there when no security were on watch. Eventually a steward came and shepherded them off the site.

By a remarkable coincidence, shortly afterwards, 6 geezers dressed as sheep entered the field. Fair play, these boys were game. They were happy to pose for photos, getting down on all fours for the full sheep effect. At one point, they rounded themselves up into a “pen” (three gates joined together). They turned down my offer of 6 shirts at a good discount, but I was not to be put off, and nabbed them the following day and gave them an even better discount. I asked who was the stag. None of them, I was told – they were all sheep.

I had an enjoyable enough day, with Jean watching the stall whenever nature called. There were not that many people really interested in poetry, but the few that were made it worthwhile. I even met someone from Liverpool who recognised the artwork on the cover of J. Brookes’ book as being by Naïve John, which I was dead impressed by. At around 8.30, I packed up, and once again headed out to party, with a vague plan to meet up with a couple of customers I’d met.

Instead of meeting them however, I ran into a couple of old school friends. One of them I’d seen so infrequently since school that they still referred to me by my surname, as I was commonly known in school, and it was a bit awkward when they tried to introduce me to people. After a while, I left them sipping their real ale, and went for some real fun, lager in hand, to the drum’n’bass tent. I got on the stage with a kid I’d met by the half-pipe, which was a laugh. At about 3, that was all over, but one other tent was still open, and here I had some fun with some kids attempting to beatbox. Finally hit the hay about 6am.

I woke to a hangover and the sound of rain pounding on the tent at about 12am. It was to be no early start this time. I finally ventured out at about 3pm. To my surprise, the rain really wasn’t that heavy – the sound of rain on a tent is slightly deceptive, as seasoned campers are no doubt aware. It didn’t matter that I was to be late getting up. As my “stall” was outdoors, it would be no use setting it up this day. Instead, I wondered round, selling discounted shirts from a bag.

Despite the rain, I actually did pretty well selling shirts this way – I sold more in a couple of hours than I did for the whole of the previous day in fact, and I felt like a successful Saudi Arabian sand salesman. Get in.

I finally felt I could justify properly joining in the festival. I saw one very good live band, China Shop Bull in one of the smaller tents, as well as a bit of The Beat who were great. Once again, I ended the night in the dance tents. The whole thing closed a lot earlier on the Sunday. The cries for “more, more, more” were met by shouts of “out, out, out” by the security, and but for a spot of “lunging” (don’t ask) in another tent that was still open, the festival was pretty much over.

For me to do a proper review of the festival would not really do it justice because, as a “stall” holder, I didn’t really see all that much of it – I didn’t even see the main headliner, Supergrass, for example – but I would say, apart from the problems with the delay at the start, the whole thing went very smoothly. It is an excellent site for a festival, with a good variety of music, and just the right size, I would say. Everyone I met seemed to have a good time, and it’s also a good festival for families, with a lot of kids running about having fun. I will definitely be going back next year, and would recommend it to anyone. Also, if you’re heading south, on your way back you can choose to, as I did, take the amusing diversion via Llanddewi Brefi. To be honest, it’s a fairly ordinary looking place, as you might expect, but I did spot two people wearing PVC shorts and t-shirts, debunking the lie circulated by the BBC that there is only one gay in the village.

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